Two words...

Prayer & Perspective.  Yup. My advice is  TRY IT,  it never fails, especially with such an amazing God we serve. I have just experienced an amazing crazy busy day yesterday at work but throughout the day remained in such a calm & confident attitude with a smile, truth in mind, & ability to put on an armor of God and conquer the day with the greatest weapon: Love. I started by praying the night before that I know in all situations Jesus is in control no matter what happens I trust Him. He never leaves us or forsakes us that is the truth. He loves us sooo much that is the truth. He is "kind, smart & important" and that is the truth.  


When I was told two of my co-workers were absent normally I would have all these anxious thoughts running "omg what do I do, how? I don't think i can I need to go home" nope. Nada. Not of it. Wasn't gonna have it. I kept on going throughout the day talking to God and singing praises and did the best I can.


Perspective is hard sometimes. We tend to easily feel the need to run away from a situation or throw  a pity party. Truth its, it happens & it's okay for a short time cuz that's being real, but it's how you look at it. When you realize the Truth, that you're beautiful, you're a shining light from above, you're in great Hands, that's surrendering and believing He is the Truth. He is gentle. He doesn't lie. and I'm happy to call him my Best, Friend, Jesus. 


that evening, I've encountered something from the past that God has delivered me from. I didn't go with my feelings this time. I trusted God to be there in the moment. I was quiet, said a few words and then reached out to my friends to help me pray for my heart. My heart not to get deceived by a man whose words may be lies. I wasn't gonna go down that road again, not when God has done so much for me to get out of it. Truth: we go through a series of tests in life and the enemy is there ready to rob the joy away, ready to lead you into temptation, tells you all sorts of things that seem out of the ordinary and lead you to sin.   In my amazement I prayed to God as I got into my car and on the way home 'Blessed be Your Name" came on the radio. My thought: Thank You Jesus for reminding me of Your love.  


It's now Thursday and I'm excited that this is has been a great week so far. In two of my bible studies this week, God has really showed me a lesson & was present in both times and it just blows my mind!  I learned about the term "unchangeable labels" those are labels that you call yourself, whether you're blind, deaf, diabetic, a widow.   Now some people choose to use that as  an excuse not to go through life. Others choose to use it as something positive.   Truth is: we were given unchangeable labels by God who has entrusted us to use it in our lives as a testimony and trust God and not our feelings.   


our flesh is so weak but our spirit is so much stronger. I sometimes think "I'm deaf, who's gonna love me?" Truth: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ~ Philippians 4:13   Trust the Lord, be brave & strong and trust the Lord ~ psalms 27:14    more importantly, I have the greatest Love I wouldn't trade it for the world.  He spend some 30 years on this place we call a temporary home, went through everything we humans go through, died on the Cross for all our sins (past present future) rose again in 3 days and now is in us in spirit because that's one of the promises He made. That my friends, is Jesus Christ who is the Great I am and nothing can get through the Father but through Him. ~ John 14:6




On a last note I'll leave you with a song: "The Desert Song"  ..."all of my life in every season You are still God I have a reason to sing.I have a reason to worship.I will bring praise I will bring praise no weapon formed against me shall remain.I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory & He is here. this is my prayer in the harvest where favor and providence flow I know I'm filled to be emptied again this seed I received I will sow...."

new day

they say there may be pain in the night & joy comes in the morning... often that is true... I was totally out at sleep last night that when the alarm went off 5:15 this morning I so did not want to get up. But be faithful with little I did, I showered then went back to sleep to get a few minutes more. Finally was up & about by 6 am and ate breakfast. It's Friday it should be exciting right?!?! Not really kicking in until I was brushing my teeth and looked at my wall of quotes in the bathroom and saw "One light that's all I am"  brought me back to a song we heard in church a while ago by Ten Ave. North "Hold my heart"    

"One tear in the driving rain One voice in the sea of pain could the Maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart One light that's all I am right now I can barely stand If You're everything You say You are won't you come close & hold my heart"


it's a pretty song and it reminds me of this weekend that we're about to do something exciting instead of going to church we're going out to BE the church... to show our love for Jesus by serving in the community with little projects like picking fruits/veggies, painting, praying etc...  I'm really excited... it's about the one main thing in life: Love and I can't wait to pour it all out like a million yellow M&M's :o)

Happy Friday!

Be faithful with little...

a very wise precious friend of mine, whom I call sunset buddy, once told me a few months ago "be faithful with little and much will be given"  she explained what that meant to me and I found in Luke 16:10 "whoever can be trusted with very little can be trusted with very much and whoever is dishonest with every little can be dishonest with much."

at this moment I should be in bed sleeping but I'm so excited on this topic that I have to share my heart.   

I'm so blessed to understand this verse because in almost everything I do when I feel anxious or get a thought that influences me to hold back to something I think "be faithful with little"...  whether it's going to church when i don't feel like it, going to work when i don't feel like it, going to bible study when I don't feel like it...

It almost reminds me of a phrase from a book I'm reading..... the phase goes "we serve a communicating God ~ a God of Words. He created, healed, encouraged, rebuked, guided, prophesied, assured, loved, served & comforted with a Word. This isn't the issue whether or not God is speaking, it's whether we have ears to hear what He says." 

At this point I'm super excited because it's like connecting the dots the big picture is God is speaking.....  He speaks through anything from dreams/visions to songs on the radio to people you meet or people you text/email....

in the end it is soooo worth it because truth is, our flesh is nothing.  our Spirit is worth so much more. when we die our flesh just crumbles and goes nowhere  whereas our spirit flies up to meet Jesus and that's the best place to be :-)

I was emailing a friend and was telling her about how I was dreading going to work tomorrow... I love what I do it's different than where I used to be but I was nervous about meeting/working with new patients I don't know because I've never done this kind of work before, and she reminded me "keep reminding yourself that you are the light of Jesus shining for them in their time of sickness" 

DEEP!!!!!    I actually learned today that the patient I had been working with who is blind, is now discharged from therapy which means I don't need to see her for therapy anymore. I was kind of sad because I enjoyed working with her while she couldn't see, I couldn't hear so we matched! :o)   I came in today to find one of the nursing aides to tell me that the patient was worried about me because I wasn't in yesterday.  I stopped by to see her today and told her I wasn't feeling well but that she was done with therapy and that I would try to stop in once a while to say hi. She was very happy to hear that and may I add this precious lady is 90 years old!!!! the little time I had with her was so fun a real blessing....  she actually told me the other that that she was glad I was working with her because I could understand what "normal people" couldn't.... and I basically went "yup and we can laugh about it right??? and laughed we went...    Thank You, Jesus, for just pouring your heart on mine to see what breaks yours and for helping me to become the person You want me to be. So that I may glorify you in everything I say & do and in the people I meet, short term or long.... 

Even just saying hi, or a smile or something sooo simple it really goes a long way because you truly never know what someone is going through during the day. People may fake a smile on the outside but in the inside they're hurting.   When you shine a light for Jesus, people see that or sense that and may feel Jesus too... He's everywhere, even when one should be faithful with little!!!

What's in your closet?

So we started a new study in bible study called "Me, Myself & Lies"  the title itself may sound intimidating but it's actually an awesome study so far.   By the end of the study, I felt a bit overwhelmed but I know it was a good kinda overwhelmed. I learned to analyze what is in your closet? Some may say it's messy some may say it's neat and organized in colors or in sections some may say it started out clean and now it's a pile of junk. The interesting thing about what is in your closet compares to who you are as a person. We all long to find ourselves in this big world at times we feel alone at times we feel like we're driving ourselves crazy not knowing where to go. But if you really stop and think, take a minute to breathe. Listen. Listen to your Heavenly Father who knows best and who is definitely trying to get you to where He wants you to be. So often we have this longing of control and the happenings of life. the thing I learned so far is that if you don't control your thoughts, your thoughts will control you. Not to worry 'cuz there's a way to prevent that, you can start by monitoring your thoughts.   So how would you describe your self talk?  Would it be constructive? destructive? Ineffective? Powerful?  


For me, for the longest time most of my self-talk has been destructive based on my upbringing. As I came to seek Jesus as my best Friend my self talk has been powerful but every now and then the little voice of destructiveness will come in. that's the enemy dude!  while it's hard I have to believe and try so hard to seek joy in my Father because I know that is what is best for me and to glorify Him. More recently, my self-talk has been on the fence of powerful & destructive which leads to spiritual warfare. Sometimes I'll think "omg that was so stupid you're so dumb! but then I know I'm a child of God  so it basically comes down to once you wake up in the morning your first thought is how your day would go. I strive to wake up with "rise & SHINE!"  Today's the day the Lord has made! Throughout the day there may be things that make our self-talk go bonkers but at least we try We live in a fallen world and the enemy is sooo strong and soo on the move BUT we have to stand firm & keep in the Word and tell the enemy He has got to go because with the Great I am, we have the greatest weapon....


I also learned that if you sow a thought you reap an action. if you reap an action you sow habit. if you sow habit you reap character if you reap character you sow destiny. it sorta reminds me of the verse from Romans 5:3-5 "not only so but we also glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character; and character hope and hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the holy spirit who has been given to us."


in the study the author broke down closet in terms of:
C- cares/concerts "what if"
L- "likes/dislikes -your personality
O- objectives/goals - your plans in life
S- secrets - things you never want anyone to know about you... they're like potatoes they grow and pollute everywhere and eventually affect everything
E- eternity - in Ecc. 3:11 God makes everything beautiful in his own time - the holy spirit is connected in us
T- treasures - what matters most to you, your values


so basically what your closet compose of is how you are as a person...the standard of our self-talk is what is acceptable to God... Note that sometimes what we think is acceptable may not be acceptable to God...   Your thought closet is basically everything that was said to yourself over the years.  That took to heart for me because in my upbringing a lot of it was so negative so it had taken time to clean out those thoughts to make it a positive and believe which voice to listen to...


 I learned that bricks are used as a name for ourselves. it is man-made while Stones are God-made.  As mentioned before we have that need for control therefore we end up building up our own bricks and labels, when in reality we already have an identity... God has created us all to be a living stone.  I found by the end of the study when I mediate on the verses the next day it's almost like bricks are the same thing, it's ugly, it's thick it's rough. On the other hand, stones are colorful, smooth, and different. It reminds me of the song "Tear down the Walls" - 


I don't know about you but I don't want to spend my whole life building up bricks after another when I can tear down the walls with the Truth, wearing my armor of God, standing firm to become a living stone. That's the beauty of it, God already sees us all as beautiful finished products. So why keep trying to fix ourselves? 


Lastly, I learned in psalms 19:14 "let the words of my mouth & mediation of my heart be acceptable to You, Lord for You are my strength & my redeemer"  

Reflection

I realize it has been a few months since I last wrote on this blog. Life became busy. Things happened. Since the last time I wrote, I dealt with two trips home to visit family, new job change, surgery, and my sister moved to CO.  It's hard to believe how much can happen in so little time, but then again it's a reminder of what I learned today at the Women's Retreat that God is in the details. Through it all He is in control. On my way home, I was thinking, soaking in all the stuff I learned this weekend. It was pretty deep, made my heart ache for the people who are brave souls to tell their stories yet at the end I left with a healing that I know I'll never be the same again. Before we left, we had to write inside a piece of paper that was given to us with Jesus on the front and a nail, one insecurity to give up and nail to the cross, actually physically do it. During my quiet time today, I learned that the scars of our lives are temporary. The pain and broken roads are temporary yet it also brings us closer to God. We have to face our pain in order to grow thus calling it "growing pains".  The scars are also a reminder of what Jesus scars represent, forgiveness, grace, dying for us. Yesterday throughout the day I kept thinking two phrases "healing and this is the promise I made."

When I wrote during my quiet time today, it was a love letter from my heart.
Precious Bride, the time has come a time of new beginnings, healing brings joy. Scars of your life is temporary. O child, I came for you, died for you. I was where you are now. I understand your pain. The aches the scars the anger the sadness the tears. I understand all for I am greater. No one can snatch them from My hand. My love remains for you, my daughter, the same yesterday today and tomorrow. My love has no fear. I do not give you a heart to fear.  I give you a heart to love. Consume My love and flourish like waterfall, sparkle like a shining star to one another, Love Jesus


Then i kept on writing:  


I am strong. I am beautiful. I am a princess of the King. I am accepted, a beloved Child. I have Christ's strength. I am chosen I am free. I am free to run like the wind. I am free to dance, dance with grace.  "My grace is sufficient for you. I am the Way Truth & Life. I am constantly molding you changing you my work in you, beautiful bride is not complete til I come back again. The pain may be deep but temporary a reminder of how much I love you. Do not worry little one for I have never left you. I am here. come to Me the time has come a time to heal. heal from worry. heal from pain.  You have been forgiven. Move forward with everything I have given you. "How high how wide no matter where I am healing is in Your hands how deep how strong now by Your grace I stand." I am your comforter your prince of peace your beginning your ending be fly little butterfly because you can can.

then inside the piece of paper we had to write one insecurity to give up..... immediately I felt it in my heart it was time... I wrote the one word that I've waited so long to write.... "anxiety"   I've given it up. No more spasms. I am free.    I nailed it to the cross to give to Jesus.  

Looking back, it made sense..  yesterday during a walk with a friend I hadn't seen in so long we chatted it up and I told her how I've grown in Christ because I haven't had the need to take anxiety medicine for a few months now. I'm relying on God to get me through to meet my needs. I listen to worship songs and the  words have special meaning now of who He is and I feel blessed cuz it's my gift to give back to Him when I sign to Him. so I saw that they were doing "lead me to the cross" and i felt I needed to sign that one. So i did.   at the end I cried so hard   that's when I just knew it was a break through.    To find today we had to give up the one thing to the cross...then on the way home I was thinking about what I learned and how God is in the details... I felt it on my heart to write this:

God is in the details look inside your life what do you see?

My Father who is strong & steady, steady as a tree

One life to live don’t miss your calling by Me.

Look up and down, left and right what do you see?

God is in the details He made the birds & bees and creatures undersea.

He knows how many hairs on our heads even the wrinkles on our face

Even in our struggles He gives us dear grace.

He made the lame walk, the blind to see & the deaf to hear.

In our hearts He is close so sweet and dear.

In the midst of our busyness, phone calls, facebook, errands, groceries and soccer games

God is in the details: look closely & listen with hearts & arms wide open

His love for you, dear one, will never be the same.

God is in the details, He constantly molds & stretches us

All-knowing and all-powerful is He

There’s no other place I’d rather be

Than in the arms of my Father, Who knows best, His light shines brightly in the darkest place.

God is in the details, don’t give Him space, embrace Him dear one

For He is our Prince of Peace, our comforter, our Love, is the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

Let go of the fear...

So I love to read. I read an amazing book called "Just between You and Me" by Jenny B. Jones. It's a novel of letting go of fear and reaching out to God and trusting Him. It was really good, so good I cried at the end!  There were a few quotes in that book that I really like. One in particular is this:


"Because you will never, ever have the life God's planned for you as long as you're holding onto that fear."


Fear can be sneaky. Fear can mess up your head when you're trying to do the right thing or seek Christ. I'm struggling with that right now with my job. I work in all hearing environment and for as long as I can remember I've never let my hearing loss get in the way of things. I feel it's a special trait to have a hearing loss. It's how you look at it. I can tell you how many times I've stumbled and fall but I get back up again with Christ's strength. Everyone goes through this. It's how you look at it.  Looking back to the past few days though right now I'm so exhausted I can't even tell you the details but I can tell you everytime I felt anxious and wanted to quit, something positive happens. Take my job for instance. I don't feel motivated to get up and go to work but I do it anyway. I try to put a smile on my face and go in with such confidence that I know Jesus wants me to do. I'll tell you it pays off. They say "actions speak louder than words" and that is true. the other day when I really really wanted to quit. one of the nurses came up to me and said "I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do here." I'm like "really?" she said "yes you have this smile on you all the time and look so peaceful."  I'm like "really? inside I feel like crying out and want to quit!"  As I type this I realize it's the power of the enemy trying to take me down. It's the fear. 


I'm reminded in Psalms 91:4-6: from the Message:
You who sit down in the High God's presence, spend the night in Shaddai's shadow, 
Say this: "God, you're my refuge. I trust in you and I'm safe!" That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards.  His huge outstretched arms protect you— under them you're perfectly safe; his arms fend off all harm. Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night, not flying arrows in the day,Not disease that prowls through the darkness,not disaster that erupts at high noon. Even though others succumb all around,drop like flies right and left, no harm will even graze you.You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance, watch the wicked turn into corpses.Yes, because God's your refuge, the High God your very own home,Evil can't get close to you,harm can't get through the door.He ordered his angels to guard you wherever you go. If you stumble, they'll catch you;their job is to keep you from falling. You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes, and kick young lions and serpents from the path."


My Lord, my Redeemer, is always with me and as long as I keep my eyes on HIM the One who can provide strength, courage, peace and will see me through...


I also have to share this because this is so true and His word never fails. For anyone who is going through the motions reading this will give such peace.


"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Matthew 11:28-30


all that fear just goes out the window after reading these not once but a few times and get it stuck on your heart...


the book of Psalms 91 captures my heart and I try to remember to read this every-time I feel afraid or anxious.  it starts with this:  “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1"   I choose peace.    What do you choose? 

Father's Day...

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!    A special shout out to Happy Father's day to our Heavenly Father above. One who is constantly there for us. One who is loving and just. One who is so real and created us. One who is so amazing that you never have to be afraid. One who guides us with His grace. One who is stronger than any other.  

(from Google Images)

Give yourself away...

"♥ give yourself away...be the hands & feet of Jesus..go out & make a world of  difference let this be the day you see how far His love reaches... ♥" 

 this is one of the songs I have stuck in my head...when I read the lyrics it touches my heart and really sums up life.  Over the past few days I've found myself struggling between feeling frustrated and yet trying to be positive and trusting Jesus that He is in control of all situations. Every time I've felt frustrated I turn to worship music, reading His word, or focus on little things that remind me that Jesus is here. Through it all He's here.  Here are some things that I've encountered that gave me a different perspective. 


"Take my life let it be. Take my moments and my days let them flow endless praise. Take my voice and let it sing for You my King. Take my will and make it Yours. Take my love and pour it at Your feet." 


"Through the fog there is hope in the distance from cathedrals to 3rd world missions. Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave." 


"Because Michelle loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue her; I will protect her, for she acknowledges My name. She will call on me, and I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble, I will deliver her and honor her. With long life I will satisfy her and show her my salvation.” psalm 91:14-16


"Your heart matters more than anything else in all creations" ~ Captivating  
  this quote is interesting...our character, who we are as a person, reflects what is in our hearts. We never stop growing and it's a beautiful transformation in our Heavenly Father's eyes. 


and finally...I saw this picture after church tonight, a wonderful sermon on "Man up" accepting responsibility and Looking up to Him when we need strength. "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech in life in faith and in purity. Fight the good fight in faith. Take hold of eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 4:12; 6:12    Reading this, I find amazing that more and more as I seek to get close to Christ and grow His love never fails. He calls us to Him, and instills different gifts in us so in the end we all become One with Him. 

I love the sky! This morning during my commute to work I saw the most beautiful sky God painted for me to see. colors were mixed of periwinkle, 2 different shades of blue (baby blue and royal blue) and the sun rising up from the other side. I so badly wanted to take a picture but that's illegal here! :o) Instead I captured the picture in my heart and thanked Jesus for such a beautiful image. While watching the sky change, I heard "Blessings" - Laura Story and "Blessed be the Name" play on the radio and praised Him for He is good! 

Throw it away...

Stronghold. What is a stronghold? Some people look at that word scratch their heads and go "whatever" some people look at that word and run away in the opposite direction in fear of facing the truth. For me, I didn't even know what it meant until a wise precious sunset buddy opened my eyes & explained to me, thank You Jesus! Now I understand. Stronghold is basically a wall, anything that keeps you from being close to our Savior, Jesus. It can be anything from jealously, anger, pride, emotional affairs, physical affair, lying, money, or anxiety. The way I see it, it's been said that "the sins of our fathers lead to consequences in generations and the next generations until only you have the courage and God's strength and grace to break that cycle. For example, one of my strongholds is anxiety. The earliest I remember having anxiety was in the 5th grade...5th grade! An age where a kid should be free to run and dance and have fun and not worry about school, if you got your homework done, if you left your book at school what if the teacher yells at you?I recall all those nights crying in bed because of fear of what was going on down the hallway of my house. The lights flickering. The doors slamming. The loud noise of yelling. Now that I think about it that's kind of sad. I long to feel that love that a kid should get when s/he is young. Then the next time I remember it became physical. It starts with the thoughts and questions running in your head and the more you stress on it the more you hold it inside and has no where to go. I carried it with me through high school. I carried it with me through college. I even carried it with  me when I went off to a new state, fresh out of college, not knowing anyone nor what I was getting myself into. But somewhere deep inside that little heart of mine I held onto that little bit of faith. The kind where I know I'm in the palm of Jesus's hand and somehow everything will be alright. My first year solo in a new state was kind of scary I'll admit. I enjoyed the freedom & independence but my anxiety attacks kept on coming every time I worried about the bills or being at work on time. Things that yes they matter but I've come to learn that it was part of "borrowing trouble" when you worry about something that may or may not happen. Really?! I catch myself now when I'm thinking aloud "what if da da da da OH wait that's borrowing trouble!" Identifying is the first step. Recovery comes and it's a process. Literally I see a stairway to a big ol' tunnel of light and I'm on each step you go up and you go down but once you're down you get right back on up again and march on. Onto that victory line because all this stuff, the stronghold stuff, is really just a piece of garbage you can throw away and be free. Free from all those chains holding you back from becoming the eyes and feet of Jesus. Free to serve and be healthy & whole because that's the kind of person Jesus longs for me to be. That love that I long to feel I didn't get when I was kid, I had it all along. It was deep inside my heart from my Heavenly Father. The sweet Father above who longs for me to come to His arms. "My child, you are my beloved. Come to Me." 

All to You

All to You, I surrender, everything all of me... You chose me, dear Lord, Your beloved because of You I am free. As I look back on last week's events I realize and can see more and more the impact of prayer. Prayer is so powerful when you're filled with the Holy Spirit. the best thing is when praying for someone else. It takes your focus off your own problems. Everyone has a story to tell, everyone has problems it's normal then again what is normal anyway? We live in such a fallen world and there's only so much light we can shine through the darkness. In the midst of our busyness  or drama we forget what matters most in life. People. Jesus. It's so easy to fall into temptation we all want we all need. In the end it comes down to our character. We can be comfortable in a place for so long. BAM! New focus, new change, new setting, new fears. I'm actually excited because it's normal to be nervous but there's always someone out there trying to rob you from your joy. the more I seek Christ the more I long to be near the more I thirst for a challenge to grow in my walk with Jesus the less my anxiety. It truly is an amazing blessing. "In Him & through faith In Him we may approach God with freedom & confidence" ~ Eph. 3:12.  "I trust in Your unfailing love. My heart rejoices in Your salvation." ~ Psalm 13:5.  All that matters is I belong to Him, my Maker, my everything and nothing can get in the way, not even a stick! :o)

Letter from my heart

Dear God,

Thank you for saving me. Thank you for sending Jesus, Your one & only Son, for being my future & hope for preparing me a place where I can live forever in peace & joy. Thank you for my undeserving grace for molding me to become the person you want me to be. Thank you for being bigger than I, knowing I cannot do it all, for putting me through everything; good and bad all because You love me. Thank you Jesus, for being my light during the dark times, the Truth in the midst of lies, my peace when my fear is surrounding me. I believe in You, the only One who can set me free from everything. Thank you for being my King and while I'm living in this temporary place, I ask that You lead and I follow. Most importantly, I can't wait to see Your shining face and dance with You! :o)

Love,
Michelle

small stuff

Have you ever really stopped what you're doing and look around the room or outside and really breathe in the air? I was running some errands today and the beautiful sun was shining all day, I looked up and there were blue skies & thought "Lord the sky is still blue for my hope is in You, You're my joy" I looked around there were green everywhere and some flowers. Then I thought "God makes everything beautiful on His time" that includes planning.... I learned in college that "while we're down here planning, God is up there laughing" Maybe He's laughing, maybe He's not but bottom line is we can plan, but sometimes things don't always go the way we want it. For me when things go wrong, I freak out. I cry. I become anxious and stressed. Once I can let go of that thought and think of His word it calms me. "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged." ~ Deuteronomy 31:8   Wow. I read that verse and memorize it many times and each time has a new meaning to me. It's that peaceful feeling knowing I'm okay in the palm of His hands no matter where I go He's there. He's there during the storms, He's there during the happy times and He's there during the scary times. Most of all, He's there through the littlest things in life: a sunrise, sunset, a worship song on the radio that touches your heart and next thing you know you're praising Him in the car, the verse you're reading that day, the people you meet throughout the day. I used to always say "I know God is here, but sometimes I wish He was here with skin!" Ironically, that's why He provides us people in our lives. Life isn't about materials or things it's about relationships with people and having a relationship with Jesus. The more I seek Him everyday the more I'm falling in love with my Savior and not sweating the small stuff that makes me anxious.  :o)  Happy Friday!

Summer Fun

okay so technically it's not summer yet but it FEELS like summer...tonight I got to hang out with the sweetest girl, we did some girl talk, had snow-balls, and watched a movie: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend to check it out!  During the movie I was smiling the entire time okay maybe not the entire time but it was good! One quote from that movie hit me and really made me think back to the time my anxiety was so bad and now looking back I can say it's been a blessing! I'm so blessed not to have physical spasms anymore. I have anxiety now and then but it's not as bad as it was before. I've learned that anxiety is like fear. It's been said that "You can run but you can't hide." True that! Now that I really think about it, maybe I've been running, running for so long because I'm afraid to face what lies ahead. It's that time now where I stop running. I'm facing my fears, my giants, my strongholds, and a child of God does not have a heart of fear. He gives you a heart that is whole worthy, filled with good fruit, His wisdom, and Truth. Anxiety, if I had to describe it in one word, it'd be lies. That's a post for another time.  I know in my heart of hearts that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" ~ Philippians 4:13, one of my life verses. So back to the quote from the movie: "You doubt your value; don't run from who you are! A noble warrior does not run from fear! You've got an extraordinary destiny, something greater than you could have imagined! You have returned for a reason, your adventure begins now!" YOUR adventure begins NOW...how are you living your life? Are you living in fear? Or are you living in Truth, a Truth that can set you free?  

He will carry you through the storm

a wise friend once told me "imagine yourself in a big strong ship with the winds & waves threatening around you. Christ is the ship. Hang on tightly and don't let go. Everything is gonna be alright." ~ miss that chick! But really, when you think about it life isn't always cute puppies & roses...sometimes there are storms.. bad days.. but it is during those storms that Jesus works best. Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives, cancer, anxiety, broken hearts, depression, anger, you get the idea; doesn't always happen for our good. Sometimes it happens to help another person life. In the book of Matthew 14:30 Peter was in a boat and saw Jesus walking on water. He asked if that was really Him and got out of the boat to run toward Him verse 30 says "but when Peter saw how strong the wind was, he was afraid & started sinking. "Save me Lord!" he shouted."   What can we get out of this story?  One thing I learned is, never take your eyes off Jesus.  Most of the time the trials, pain, struggles happen so that we can grow and become closer to Jesus. I've learned that over and over in my share growing up in a deaf family, going to college, moving to a new state and not knowing anybody. Keeping my faith and eyes on Jesus is what got me through those storms. There's no greater feeling than being in the arms of Jesus a comforting peaceful place. 

Keep looking up! :)

Sweet music to my ears...

most people take the gift of hearing for granted...as someone who is hearing impaired music is a huge passion to me. I like the country kind and worship kind...   Lately I haven't been able to hear very well, they say after 5 years hearing aides start to die out. I'm getting that affect :(  Have no fear! I can still hear some and I'm a skilled lip-reader ;)   the past two days during my commute to work which is about 45 + minutes I heard the exact same song playing twice, clearly, not every word but the chorus and tune is sweet to my soul.  I heard it again tonight while leaving Panera Bread from my bible study group.  The song gets me every time, I cried in the beginning, but happy tears because I know deep in the little heart of mine Jesus makes my life complete. Now I smile. 


"cause what if your blessings come through raindrops what if your healing comes through tears what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near what if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the reveling of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy what if the trials of this life the rain the storms the hardest nights are Your mercies in disguise" ~ Laura Story 


It warms my heart and I feel blessed to hear just a glimpse of that song but reading the lyrics the words couldn't be more truer.  Life, we can all agree is complicated, but if we take the good with the bad and smile with the sad and thank Jesus for the pain we had  we know we're more than conquerors!


What songs or Voice are you listening to?  

brand new day

It's a new day! The sun is shining & life is good :o)  Read this verse this morning and it took my breath away.

“Then I saw New Jerusalem, that holy city, coming down from God in heaven. It was like a bride dressed in her wedding gown and ready to meet her husband. I heard a loud voice shout from the throne: God's home is now with his people. He will live with them, and they will be his own. Yes, God will make his home among his people. He will wipe all tears from their eyes, and there will be no more death, suffering, crying, or pain. These things of the past are gone forever.”  Revelation 21:2-4